another funny letter

Another of my favorites...

"Dear Elders and Elerettes,
Taylor, did yo get beaten up again this week?
Michelle, how about those mud slides?
Ali, how's the tan coming along?
Taylor, I got a letter from Andy this week. He was verbally abusive as usual and expressed his undying love for you. He will be a good missionary. By now you have met intellectuals that just want to argue with you, Andy will give those types a run for their money.
As you know, your big sister will be home soon, she gets all your old stuff. Time goes by so fast when you are serving the Lord, Although there are sometimes days and weeks that last forever. We have all experienced those times. Be valiant young ones. These times make the good times even sweeter. It is always so much fun for us to tell people that you 3 are all out at the same time, by the time I add th stroke story, they are crying and reaching for their wallets. I could do this professionally if you guys would agree to stay out longer.
Mom is kicking me out of the house and rushing me back to work. I can't use my fingers well enough yet to button my pants. I don't think that's going to go over well at work when I ask co-workers to button me up. Maybe I'll stay with panhanding the old people in the ward... By the way I have developed relationships in the ward with the older folks. Old folks have had strokes and they like to share stories with me. I has given me empathy for senior members of the ward. I have been mouth kissed by several of them. It's not bad until they start usingthetongue. Generally it's not too bad, but old people have a tendency to use too much slobber. You get used to it.
Michelle, Mark Iverson asked for your address Sunday. I gave it to him, I like him, he doesn't use too much slobber, but you would know this already Miss Hot lips. We haven't seen much of letterJ since "the potential boyfriend endurance trial" when I met him at the front door with a shotgun and told him his first test was to make it back to his car before the buckshot. Strangest thing, he hasn't come back.
We look forward to enjoying your wonderful spirits. Work hard and keep all of the rules and BAPTIZE!
Love
Dad"